A personal reflection!

So here I am feeling all reflective.

Big birthday this year (30, yes I know it's not old) and my first born (G) turns 9 this week. Within the last year I have also had a baby with a new man! Something I never envisaged happening 2 years ago.

Baby (H) was born at home and was an exceptionally magical and powerful experience. This has brought me all reflective as 9 years ago my mindset was very much "everyone should birth in hospital. These stupid home birthers are putting their and their babies lives at risk!" Fast forward 9 years and that view has disappeared completely. 

I have overcome lots of hurdles over the last 9 years. A bad bout of postnatal depression after G's birth and then 3 years, and a daughter (N) later I split with their father and we were up and down with our relationship for years later. About 2.5 years ago we finally decided that it wasn't to be and everything was split amicably. Not long after the new man (R) walked into my life. I REALLY wasn't looking for a new relationship and tried to avoid my feelings for a lot of months. Luckily (or unluckily maybe ;)) he persisted and within 6 months I found myself pregnant! I can't begin to tell you how much of a shock this was to the system! It truly seems as though H was sent for a reason and he never ceases to prove this to me.

So my views have changed. With G I breasted him for 3 weeks not knowing what was normal patterns and I believed that formula is necessary at some point and those who feed babies longer than a few months were "bizarre" and "only doing it for themselves". H Will breast feed as long as he wants. It would seem I have gone from trusting everyone and everything, formula feeding, hospital birth on my back doing as I was told, vaccinating, medicating. To home birthing, home educating, breast feeding, doula, questioning everyone and everything, not/delaying vaccination and using alternative things. Some say I've turned hippy!

It's taken a lot of strength and soul searching to reach these changes but I can now say I am trusting my instincts and feel so much better.

I always tell people to trust their instincts as they are never wrong! No matter what choices we make we always make decisions as we see fit at the time. I have no regrets as after all life is just a journey.

M

Thought for the day!

When we see programs about animals birthing the humans are always hands off. They say this is because if they become involved then complications will arise and the mother may not bond and either the mother or baby (or both) may die. I suppose it is worth noting they dont have due dates too "she will birth when she is ready, instinct knows what to do"

These animals are all mammals that give birth to a live young, with a placenta.

Humans are too mammals that give birth to live young, with a placenta. However a complete different approach is used. It is very much hands on with us. We have due dates given which are very rarely correct and often lead to interventions and problems. Its almost as if "she will birth when we say so." No acknowledgement of instinct is made.

Perhaps we can learn from animals? Take charge of our instincts.

Does it really matter?

So, here I am writing a parenting blog. Something I never thought I would do as I read so many that are very one sided and many parents treat them as 'Gospel'. I decided to start writing one to give another perspective. My thoughts are to provide a wide range of ideas in alsorts of subjects. I do NOT want any readers to hold on my every word! I would like you to perhaps open minds and views and do what you fell works best for you. Only you knows what makes you happy and only you can make the best decisions for you and your family.

I will post my view of certain issues and analyse them through all sides. (yes this may end up slighltly bias but I will try not to)

A little about me then? I am a young single (unfortunately) mother at 26. I have a 6 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl. I am a Breastfeeding peer supporter (one of the nice ones) and have been for over 3 years now. I am currently studying with the NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor Diploma of Higher Education. I am also a doula and run a separate sewing business part time. (http://www.michellelouisedesigns.co.uk/) I still class myself as a stay at home mum though. I formula fed my eldest from 3 week and my youngest still breastfeeds now sometimes. (never thought I would be doing that) Both children were born in hospital naturally as was our informed choice.

So, does it really matter? Do our different parenting styles really matter? We only make decisions we see to be the correct ones at the time and those decisions make us happy then. Surely that is what is important? Hmm